I watch every day as one of my coworkers blows kisses to her husband as he drops her off and part of me says, “I can’t wait to have that.” And truthfully, I do. But, I’ve been using the word love a lot recently. Maybe too much. In fact, the other day I remembered a line from a song on the show Steven Universe, “I am made of Love.” It struck me, because I feel like ‘loving’ is probably the word that would best describe me….but I don’t think it’s that blow kisses kind of love.
The thing is, typically when I think of love, one of the last things I think of is romance. Somehow that seems…separate I guess? I don’t know. But for me, I can’t help being kind, caring, compassionate and willing to go the extra mile for the people who are close to me. Sure, you may say it’s just cause I’m a nice person, but the people who are subjected to my affection know that I go hard for people. It’s way more than just being nice. I can be kinda forceful.
Here’s the thing though. Sometimes, as much as you put out, it isn’t reciprocated, or maybe it isn’t in the same way that you display it and that hurts. But I’ve come to realise, whether this is right or wrong, I am always going to be me. I am going to always be concerned about you if you are part of my pack. The few times I have tried to just dull my feelings have never ended well.
So I’ll keep loving my way and maybe one day the romance will come but until then, to quote Jeff Winger from Community:
“I settled on a truth today that’s always going to be true. I would do anything for my friends, which I think is how everyone in the world feels, which finally makes me understand war.”
~No matter what, always head towards the sun.~
-All images and gifs from Google